Several things happened this past week that astounded the literary world. Harper Lee is finally to publish her first novel. Yes, her first. To Kill a Mockingbird was actually her second novel. Her publisher encouraged her to write an earlier story from the protagonist’s view, that of a young Scout who observed her father, Atticus Finch, at work on a rape case. Thus was born the seminal work, To Kill a Mockingbird. Evidently, the book was discovered among Lee’s publisher’s papers and they decided to move forward and publish.

The next thing I witnessed is the only interview ever filmed of Flann O’Brien, or more popularly known by his pseudonym, Brian O’Nolan. We see an extremely soused author, slurring his words, and an empty bottle of whiskey nearby. He was so introverted that he had to get stinking to be able to withstand the pain of an interview. It was only a snippet and some are still out there desperately searching for the entire interview.

As I watched the news from my computer screen, seated alone in my office at home, I understood these two private people more than all the extroverted newscasters and literary reviewers and academics combined. I’m an introvert. I test toward the extreme side, but I have learned to withstand the exposure to the marketplace, however painful it may be. It isn’t that I don’t like people that I too shun public places as much as I possibly can. In fact, I do. Undoubtedly, more than most. There are many people I care so deeply about I hurt. I find myself moved to tears when I think of them or their problems they must endure.

I didn’t mean to get so heavy on a Monday, but these two remarkable introverts, Harper Lee and Flann O’Brien, have surfaced this past week to remind me of who I am, of all those like us, the introverted authors. I like the idea that today we have author communities, that we have a Sisters In Crime and Mystery Writers of America, and the many other author communities that have sprung up over the past few years. We support each other. Encourage each other. And it shouldn’t just be with a communal organization that we pay to belong to where one author supports another. It should be every author supports the other. We may not all be introverts like I am or Flann O’Brien, but we can listen and find a way to be there for the other. Perhaps Mr. O’Brien would not have had to drink himself into oblivion just to give an interview, or Ernest Hemingway find release in suicide if we had paid more attention.

I realize I rag on the worst of us, the vanity press author wannabes, but I do care about those who are the diamonds in the rough, the voices lost in the sea of egomanical and yet terrible writers. They should be heard and need encouragement. Go out and buy a book today. Buy that story told by someone who truly has talent. Write a review that comes from your heart. And, if you can, connect with them, encourage them so they don’t lose heart like the Ernest Hemingways or Flann O’Briens.

http://www.amazon.com/Night-Shadow-Ch%C3%A9ri-Vaus%C3%A9-ebook/dp/B00O3L6Z92/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423325344&sr=8-1&keywords=the+night+shadow+by+cheri+vause

As respite from writing I often take to the workshop, even in winter. Yesterday offered an opportunity to grasp an hour or two of sunshine and milder air. Making vessels out of the clay distracts and facilitates a space in my mind, so the next paragraph of the uncompleted novel can begin to emerge.  

The porcelain seems ready to become four simple forms and I leave them to reflect upon their position and resolution after the clay and I have joined forces, handling each other well in such a variable climate.   

Tomorrow is murk, wet, and the clay looks back at me with a glistening sheen as I open the door.

I do not linger, neither the forms nor I need to acknowledge more than a ‘salut’. I will take them into the kitchen on Sunday to dry a little; ready for the turning, firing and combining with the fine artist’s leather.

 A collection of vessels.

An installation of fused resonances based upon the ancient birch wood in the fen. A reminder that earth, form and decomposition are fundamental certainties and will remain so when we have disappeared and nature reclaims its place. Untrammelled. I am at that point in my story.

The ancient birch wood stands upon black peat as it has always done, the land around drained into manageable and navigable droves and dykes, tall reeds still in abundance. Old roads many have crossed and travelled. A palpable presence.

Parts of the wood are almost inaccessible unless one knows a way through and can sense the way out again. There is immense stillness always, so the smallest sound is an audible detail.

A day in late summer, warm and full of light, the path taken between the field and the inner sanctum of the cool interior. A red deer stared and I at it, both of us stopping for an instant, then it gone and I moving silently on. The image transformed into a dragon fly next to me in the bracken on its way to the water’s edge.

The fen wood can be seen from the train as it passes on its way to or from the cathedral city, set in its shallow saucer of land, flat for as far as the eye can trace. The horizon, just visible at the far end of an old ocean bed now fertile, dusty black and overworked. I have looked out at the wood, from the train, for as long as I can remember and have always felt that I am almost home. This is one place of belonging.

The birch wood gifts its secrets to the unassuming eye, soothing a too busy mind.

The clay clears the head and focusses perspective; I have the fragments of the next chapter.

Yeats’s hazel wood gives up a silver trout and a glimmering girl, the juxtaposition produces a faerie image of transformation, one might be in danger of stretching the point here, although it would fit the poet’s provenance.

Both birch and hazel wood are redolent of the natural process of things and of time passing.  Both are guardians of the silver apples of the moon, the golden apples of the sun.  

Jenny Dunbar

When I first started writing over a decade ago, I exulted in every new dialog tag I could think up. I preened over “he croaked” and purred over “she grumbled.” Finding new and inventive ways to say “he said” became my quest.

My early works were peppered with gloats, murmurs, and barks. I even started a most coveted (only by me) list.

How many words can you think of to say “he said” or “she said?” Here are some, in no particular order:

Got that part?

Now that I’ve encouraged you to use “said,” I’m going to retract it.

Forgive me, but that’s just the way it is. If you can avoid a tag altogether–through the clever use of action “beats”– then more power to you.

Here’s an example of changing a passage from lush useless tags, to he said/she said tags, to using beats instead of tags:

I maneuvered the van around the next pothole, and was about to congratulate myself for my superior driving skills when a series of washboard ruts nearly popped the fillings out of my teeth.

I maneuvered the van around the next pothole, and was about to congratulate myself for my superior driving skills when a series of washboard ruts nearly popped the fillings out of my teeth.

I maneuvered the van around the next pothole, and was about to congratulate myself for my superior driving skills when a series of washboard ruts nearly popped the fillings out of my teeth.

Add your own examples below, if you’d like. Let’s see some Case A, B, and C’s in the comments section!

-> DOWNLOAD THE FACEBOOK BLASTER SOFTWARE HERE <-

Imagine being able to add five thousand members of the Amazon Book Clubs to your Facebook's close circle (friend list). That's right, since every member (24,000+) of the Amazon Book Clubs are book enthusiast, where else would be the best place to invite/add other like-minded book-loving friends? These people are looking forward to meeting you, that's why they joined. 

Tedious, time consuming, boring, strange etc are words that could be associated with the task of inviting new friends on Facebook, hoping you'll get to know them or they would know you.  In fact, meeting and introducing yourself to new people use to be an old tactic way of book promotion, especially when a firm promise to raise your Facebook presence (friend's list) to 2,000+ fans.

Well. Today, we are now confident in telling you that you can now gain that five thousands book-like-minded new friends on Facebook in a matter of few days, with a task that will only take you 10 minutes to carry out. It is not a trick, it is a software, designed specifically for this purpose and others as well. It could extract the UIDs (user i.d's) of any Facebook group members, and give you the option to invite them as friends. If you are not a member of Amazon Book Clubs you would need join the group first before you can extract the members UIDs.

UIDs are a set of identification numbers assigned to every Facebook users. If you are a Facebook user, this software would show you what your UID is.

This tutorial video would show you how to carry out some of the functionalities of this software; http://indiewritersupport.com/video/how-to-use-facebook-blaster-software-tutorial.

• ✔  Auto Mass Friend Requests
• ✔  Auto Mass Friend Messages
• ✔  Auto Mass Friend Wall Poster
• ✔  Auto Mass Friend Poker
• ✔ Auto Mass Amber Alerts
• ✔  Auto Mass Captcha Bypass

To broadcast a message to all of your Facebook friends with this software, all you would have to do is extract and save your friends UIDs and use the Messenger tab in the software to send the message into their inbox all at once. For best measure, do not send more than 200 friend request or messages a day using this software. 

Upgraded members (PREMIUMS) of our network were supplied a copy of this software as part of their earned service. You can get yours too, and the many more to come, by joining this Exclusive Group. You may also download the software from this Restricted Page, accessible only with payment.

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After a year of giving up my newly renovated antique house to my dear daughter, beloved-but-unemployed son-in-law, grandkids, pregnant mother cat, one hormonally challenged male dog, and a still-chewing everything puppy…  (while being unemployed myself during much of that time..)

After looking the other way when antiques were scratched, lamp cords were chewed off, couch skirts were peed on, satin fabric was clawed apart, our new Oriental rug was destroyed…

After having to search for a single fork in a sink full of dishes almost every day (“We’ll do them in the morning, Dad!”), dealing with a sore back from bending over a thousand times a day to pick up casually tossed cheese stick wrappers and toys, and wondering if I’d ever get into the laundry room to do laundry for my wife and me…

After all that – I think I deserve this new room of mine.

Okay, those of you who know me realize I’m exaggerating, because I adore my daughter, grandchildren, and animals. Since they moved out to their own place just a few miles down the road a month ago, I’ve been filled with conflicting with feelings of terrible longings for their company... mixed with blessed relief. I call them constantly, with any little excuse. And I ache to see the kids every second of every day.

But there is a bright side to all this, and it’s the reclaiming of our home. It’s clean. Oh, is it clean. Organized. Tidy. Polished. Shiny. Dust-free.

This is the 200^th anniversary of our 1811 house, and in the spirit of giving ourselves a little reward, I decided to redo the boys’ bedroom. We gave the kids all the furniture, anyway, so it made sense to change things around a bit.

I’ve never had a writing room. I’ve never had a home office. I never even had a corner of a room that could be mine, where I could write in quiet and focus on getting my characters into trouble, and finagle the plot so they could be saved again. I always had to clamp headphones over my ears to drown out the television, or get up at 4 AM to find some quiet time to write.

My usual typical writing spot is my comfy leather chair in our bedroom. It’s too close to the TV, though, and my wife enjoys have it on all the time. But I like to be with her, so I hang out in the bedroom in the evenings. But that means I'm always tuning out whatever sit-com blasts from the darn thing. 

Sometimes, for an hour or so in the freezing cold dark winter mornings, I sit in the living room downstairs while the fire takes hold in the woodstove. But I'm often distracted by the need to let the dogs in and out, clean the cat pan, put a load in the washer or dryer, make my lunch for work, take out something to defrost for dinner, load up the wood rack by the woodstove, etc. You get my drift, all the usual pre-work morning stuff. So unless I got up, again, at 4 or 5 AM, I don’t get much time to focus on writing.

Okay, so all this is leading up to me trying not to feel guilty for spending too much money on what I’m calling my “zen* room”. It’s a romantic writing, reading, thinking, quiet room. I thought of my wife when I designed it, and have also referred to it as her “sitting room”, because I made it kinda girly-pretty and put her Keurig coffee maker in there.

I know, I know. You’d expect a guy to want a MAN cave, right? Something with lots of leather, dark wood, heavy curtains, beer posters, big screen TV, sports trophies, and the like. Well, I have something sort of like that in our living room already, with dark antiques and brown leather couch and club chair. Ahem. Minus the beer posters and sports trophies.

But this time I departed from that model. I guess I figured I wouldn’t feel so guilty for spending the money if I designed it with my wife in mind.

So in spite of the fact that it’s kind of a feminine room, I must state that I consider myself a regular guy in some aspects. I love to do handyman projects around the house, can’t wait to play with the snowblower and lawn tractor, adore chopping down acres of brush and clearing land, and have a list a mile long of outdoor brick-laying type projects I can’t wait to start.

But I’m also a guy who loves some not-so-typical things. I’m a great deal like my character, Gus LeGarde, who is frequently referred to as a Renaissance man. Gus and I love antiques. We love Chopin. We love to cook. We love French Impressionist art. We love nature. We love to hike. And, we love to cross-country ski.

So, that was my lame attempt to prove to you that I really am a semi-regular guy in spite of how pretty this room is. Ha.

What inspired this? My hairdresser.

Yeah, really. The lady who cuts my hair was running late last month. She offered to let me sit in her new little new-age-comfy room with the water fountain and a footbath. It was so darned comfortable I almost fell asleep several times, and I realized that I wanted one, too!

So, let me show you what I did.

I asked my wife what color walls she wanted, and she chose a pale orange sherbet color. On an impulse, I checked out a Ruby Gordon’s annual half off sale, and found a cream-colored leather loveseat and comfy chair/ottoman in the clearance section. This sort of set the tone for the rest of the room, which really is quite romantic. (And DANG, is it relaxing and comfortable...)

I ordered this trickling wall mounted water fountain. Still waiting for a pump to be sent that isn't LOUDER than the trickling water sound, but it's en route, so they say. 

I found turquoise pillows and a throw at Pier One, a vase thingie that holds apple blossoms, or whatever fake things my wife my wants to stick in them during the winter, and then I went nuts and ordered a glass lamp to match the turquoise color that had ended up being so prevalent in the room. 

I haunted my favorite antique stores to find a perfect – I mean made for this room – antique lamp with the exact same colors that we’d already chosen.

Next, I ordered a cherry wall cabinet to store some of my Young Living Essential Oils, an Aria oil diffuser to set the scene, a foot bath and all the good smelling stuff that goes with it, and some gorgeous photos from a wonderful photographer friend. 

Here is one of the images that will eventually be hanging over the loveseat and chair, in large format.

See how it miraculously matches the room colors? It’s like it was meant to be.

It’s almost all put together. I’m waiting for the ottoman, so I can put up my feet while I write. The essential oil diffuser arrived yesterday, and I set it up this morning. My wife wanted curtains, so I got those last weekend – sheer, romantic type curtains. (I won’t dwell on the fact that my cat, one of the seven kittens my daughter’s cat had last year, keeps climbing up them and messing them up.) I’m waiting for the prints to frame and hang. And then, I’ll be ready to write in style. Wonder if my characters will have any more romance in the next few books? I do feel some love scenes coming on...

Here are a few shots of my writing room - a work in process

The "Aria" my new Young Living oil diffuser that also has soothing natural sounds and beautiful colors within its clear glass globe. Highly recommended! (and you'll know why if you read Essentially Yours, one of the books in my Tall Pines Mysteryseries.)

Here's where my wife sits and reads from her Kindle.

One corner that ended up looking a little "Oriental."

And here's where I sit, minus the wall art that's coming. Like I said, pretty darned comfy.

And so, as the project comes to a close, it's just in time for the next adventure of either Gus LeGarde, Sam Moore, or Marcella Hollister. Haven’t decided what’s next yet, but I’m itching to start something new.

 Happy Valentines Day! 

Guys: Do something extra special for your sweetheart today. Maybe buy her a copy of my new love story, The Seacrest. You'll brighten up her day, and you'll feel all mushy inside. Who knows? It might inspire you. Maybe you'll end up with a girl-cave all your own.

Aaron Paul Lazar

copyright 2015, aaron paul lazar

http://www.lazarbooks.com

I have loved everything to do with the paranormal world for as long as I can remember. I write about ghosts, hauntings, aliens, angels, demons, ESP, premonitions, past lives, reincarnation - you name it - for quite some time as well. One place where I write regularly is http://www.examiner.com/x-35811-Hamilton-Paranormal-Examiner.

I have also written a number of books including Glimpses: True Stories of the Paranormal, Glimpses 2: (it could happen to you!) and Totally Scared: The Complete Book On Haunted Houses with Dawn Colclasure. The last one is being update with even more information than the first edition.

As well, I have had quite a number of personal paranormal occurrences during my life including seeing spirits, having a vision, hearing the angels sing, a near death experience and more. These I have also written about on various blogs and columns, as well as in my books.

I am so happy to report that people are now beginning to take claims of the paranormal much more seriously than in the past. I just wrote a story about The Afterlife Files, which aims to prove that what people are experiencing is real. That story can be found in my Examiner column. The fellow behind it wants to create a made-for-TV documentary showing this proof for all to see.

Todd Moster is a lawyer, so he should certainly know what constitutes solid evidence. He says that such a documentary could potentially change the way we view our world.

He is particularly interested in EVP (electronic voice phenomena), which ghost hunters acquire through various means including the regular digital voice recorder, to Frank's boxes and more up-to-date spirit boxes.

Asked how he developed such a strong interest in EVP in an interview on January 21, 2015, he replied, “I’ve been interested in the subject of EVP since the late ‘70s when I read the book Breakthrough: An Amazing Experiment in Electronic Communication with the Dead by Konstantin Raudive, which documented his experiments in that area. Although I later put the topic aside for many years as I concentrated on my career as a trial attorney and executive recruiter, I looked into the area again in the early 2000’s and was intrigued by all of the new research in the field. The new information inspired me to produce a mini documentary about EVP called Breaking the Barrier in 2008.”

To fund his project, Moster has begun a Kickstarter campaign called The Afterlife Files with a goal of raising $500,000 so electronic voice phenomena (EVP), which has become a mainstay of proof for paranormal investigators on the reality of life after death, can be studied and analyzed from a scientific standpoint.

That sounds like a lot of money to get within the short time allowed by Kickstarter, but he is determined.

“As has been the experience of many a producer before and after me, I found that the needed funds were not forthcoming,” he said. “The advent of the crowd-funding phenomenon in the last few years, however, has given a new platform for producers to take their ideas directly to the public for support. And in keeping with the innovative spirit of the crowd-funding platform, we’ve chosen Kickstarter.com. We’ve reinvented the format from the more conventional documentary vehicle we pursued in 2008 to a cutting-edge scientific exploration of EVP, combined with a documentary-style series intended for TV or Internet distribution, which will follow both the experimental process and the diverse group of paranormal investigators, die-hardskeptics, mainstream scientists and other participants who carry it out.”

He called his project “the most ambitious and decisive scientific exploration of whether the human personality lives on after physical death.” The proposed series would begin with a pilot similar to Breaking the Barrier but would focus more on “introducing viewers to the subject of EVP, as well as to the mission, design crew and key investigators who will conduct the hard core scientific study that is at the heart of The Afterlife Files.”

Then the 12 remaining episodes would involve actually garnering proof in the field that EVP does or does not represent the voices of the deceased.

Moster said the total of $500,000 that he hopes would be donated through the campaign would ensure that he meets his financial requirements. However, he admitted that it might be optimistic given that Kickstarter projects must meet their goal within a specified amount of time. He said the site allows a campaign to run “from 1 to a maximum of 60 days.” He chose 40 days beginning on January 28, 2015.”

But would that be enough time to raise such a large amount of money?

“At first glance, $500,000 seems like a crazy amount of money,” he said, “but it’s the absolute minimum we need to obtain the high profile scientists, lab facilities and cutting-edge equipment to do this right. Kickstarter advises us that the average contribution comes in around $75 although many people, of course, contribute more and some pledge less. If that average holds true for us, we’ll need about 7,000 backers for our project.”

He realizes that hoping to raise enough interest from that many people might seem like quite a stretch but he believes it is “really a tiny percentage of the millions of people worldwide who are fascinated by the paranormal, or just wonder from time to time (as do most of us) what happens to us when we die.”

He plans to place a video trailer at the top of his Kickstarter page. You can see that trailer HERE. If he can get the trailer to go viral he said, “we’ll have a good chance of crossing the finish line.”

As well, he said there are quite a number of rewards being offered as part of the campaign for those who donate, “ranging from music and signed movie posters at the lower levels to producer credits, private progress reports, and exclusive tickets to our premiere screening at the higher levels – to make it a fun experience for our supporters.”

The success of his campaign will ultimately depend on how people feel about his proposed project and their willingness to help see it to fruition.

“We’re depending on everyone who finds this project intriguing and worthwhile, even if they already have an opinion one way or the other on the subject, to spread the word to their friends, family and coworkers. That is really the only way we will succeed and be in a position to start putting our team together in April.”

If successful, Moster plans to film the pilot and a 12-episode series for television that will be more of a scientific expedition designed to determine if EVP claims are based on reality or just wishful thinking. He plans to collaborate with EVP researchers, people who want to make contact with those who have passed over, scientists and of course, skeptics of the phenomena.

In the past, Moster has written for a History Channel series and other shows. The co-producer for The Afterlife Files will be Nancy Williams of Nancy Williams Productions, who is an Emmy winning journalist and was a syndicated TV news reporter/producer for Time Warner. Her production company based in Los Angeles, CA, produces material for video, web and television.

But that's not all...

Another 'afterlife' documentary is also in the works call The Scientific Establishment of Parapsychology. Created by Don & Steve Mera of the U.K. it is destined to become a TV series. Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to say any more about it at this point but any project that aims to add credibility to the paranormal field is certainly good news - at least to me.

I have written literally hundreds of story based on information from people around the world about their personal experiences with spirits of the dead (which is really a misnomer since they are still very much alive - in spirit). I have also written about people's real experiences living in haunted houses, having predictive dreams, near death experiences, premonitions and so much more.

As well, I recently wrote a book review on The Science of Spirit Possession by Terence Palmer in which he uses a critical scientific mind to determine that possession is a real phenomenon. 

To know that there are folks out there who want to prove these types of events based on science, is a wonderful thing. Surely, they will help open the minds and eyes of those folks who have never had such experiences and others who seem to live just to debunk anything having to do with the paranormal. Hopefully, even the staunchest critics will give the subject another more serious look.

Why a blog titled “Lipstick, Lies, and Lupus”? Because I am addicted to lipstick and normally have 4 or 5 tubes of the stuff with me at all times. Because I am a lupus patient, and because I hate all the lies and misinformation circulating about lupus and the damage and hurt it causes to those who read and believe the lies.

I want to write about lupus and the lives of the patients I know – the ones who keep on living despite the disease. The ones who laugh, have fun, get married, have children, work, don’t work, play with their grandchildren, change clothes sizes and need 4 separate closets, and all the in-betweens.

A few years back I was reading a newsletter that came from one of the local lupus groups out west. There was an article in the newsletter written by a nurse. I don’t remember the name of the article any more, and probably didn’t after the fire that article started. I’m sure the title was lost when a fire was ignited inside me after reading a lie that she wrote. The R.N. author stated that “lupus is a progressive” disease.

When I read the word “progressive” I was infuriated. First I was angry because this article was written by a nurse who should know better. Second I was furious because it was written by a nurse and most people would take her word as the gospel. Third I was boiling with anger because the group who published the newsletter did not correct the lie.

According to Medicinenet.com a progressive disease is one that is increasing in scope or severity, advancing, or going forward. For example, a disease that is progressive is worsening. Lupus is chronic, meaning they have a disease that is a long-lasting, one that can be controlled but not cured. ( According to the Center for Managing Chronic Disease)There is a big distinction between these two types of diseases. Lupus is characterized by flares (more active states of the disease) and remissions (less active states of the disease). The time and duration of the flares and remissions is different for every lupus patient. They can’t be predicted but can, in many cases, be controlled.

I can only hope that this blog can reach all those who read the original article and more. I pray that anyone who read that article and the other lies and misinformation that circulate about lupus find accurate information and learn the truth. It is my sincere wish that only the truth be published. I said it was a wish. I know it would take a genie in a lamp to make that happen.

Now you know a little about why I’ve begun this blog. One other fact you may want to know – I have a 911 rule that did play a bit in naming this blog. Here’s my rule: if something should happen to me that may require calling 911:

• First – apply lipstick because I’m not going to the hospital without it
• Second – administer Coca Cola. It could bring me out of whatever my current state is, thus negating the need for the 911 call
• Third – if all else fails, dial 911, but send the lipstick with them

Lipstick, Lies, and Lupus – a blog by Wanda M. Argersinger

© 2015 by Wanda M. Argersinger

www.lipstickliesandlupus.com

But I didn’t stop. I worried about arriving late to work, and the sides of the road looked very slippery. So… another lost shot.

What is the most important characteristic a writer should have? The ability to question everything.

Every tale I’ve written began with a series of what ifs.

What if a child was thrown into a world where magic was real? What if a young girl is given the most powerful weapon in her world? What if a man discovered he was really a demon? The list is as endless as the imagination.

But what if is rarely enough to carry a story. From each what if, dozens of answers can evolve and the writer become hopelessly confused by trying to unite them into something resembling a tale.

For me, the next question is, why?

Why this character and not someone else? Why are they in this situation? Why would a reader be interested in them?

However, why is more than these. As far back as any of us remember, we are taught there are certain truths in this world and that reality is a hard-and-fast concept we must each face. This, of course, presupposes everyone’ s truths and everyone’s realities are the same? By the time we realize we are writers, we (should) know that truth and reality only stand as long as no one asks why.

Why do we believe we have certain inalienable rights when we can see it is not true in many places around the world? Aren’t these just privileges society grants or abridges at its whim?

Why do we accept the world is a sphere when, wherever we see it from, it appears as a convex disk? Is it possible only the portion we see exists and anything else we believe is in a dimension we only imagine?

The whys are not as important as the answers. Our responses are what generate the ideas we need to create worlds.

However, the ability to develop unique and interesting answers needs to be exercised.  From my perspective, every writer needs to set aside a few hours each week to let impressions flow and coalesce into ideas.

I am fortunate. I spend an average of 15 hours a week driving. This is my time to turn off the radio, ignore the phone and let the mind wander. During these moments, I recall events I’ve seen and play what if and why. Over the years the ability has grown until it is second nature. I see what is around me and simultaneously see many things they could be.

Yesterday I stopped in a place named Bachi Burger to look at the menu. The hostess asked whether she could help me so I asked if the burgers were made from real Bachi. She looked confused (as many people do when I respond to their serious questions) and told me she didn’t know what a Bachi was. I told her they were a cute little creatures from the land of Neverwas that tasted better than beef. They were in no danger yet, but what would happen if her restaurant chain expanded? She had no response so I decided it was probably best to leave. As I turned to go, she thanked me for telling her about Bachies.

My kids tell me I do a great deal to bring confusion into the world.

The point of all this though, is that learning to see with what if followed by why generates an endless stream of plots. I attribute the blessing of never knowing a day of writer’s block to the fact these questions have become automatic.

I know there are other questions of equal importance for writers to have constantly on their brain. I’ll address those in future posts.

The mark of a serious writer/author is the willingness to improve. The pursuit of excellence includes any combination of 1) formal schooling, 2) seminars, 3) reading, 4) organizations/groups, 5) research, 6) writing, 7) editing. You can probably think of other avenues.

Pablo Casals was a pre-eminent cellist and conductor (1876-1973) who blessed us with music. When in his 90's it is said that someone asked why he continued to practice so many hours each day. His answer: "I think I'm getting it."

After 58 years of writing (news articles, journal articles, non-fiction, short stories, and novels), I am learning something every day. Some of it is new, some of it things forgotten.

Yes, I read, but with the sloppy way publishers are conducting business today, one must be careful. The best information comes from those who write well and share their understanding of the craft. I learn from these writers and authors, and in turn share writing techniques on a bi-monthly eFile. (I detest the word "blog". It sounds like some disgusting noises cows emit when confined to a coral.)

You are invited to Anatomy of a Story and leave comments that can help others in our craft.

http://celtic-publications-us.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-protagonist-need-for-backstory.html

Fine wine needs to be nurtured, rested, watched and turned until ready for drinking.

I think words require a little care too. Serious writers probably have a couple of pages on the go at the same time. Maybe a dormant chapter or manuscript waiting in the wings to be revisited or re-enacted.

I find it a necessity to leave and come back, leave and come back yet again, until I feel I have a complete work, indeed will it ever be complete? It is that detail in the organisation of the narrative that, if ignored, can so easily make or mar the end product. It is often impatience that makes us avoid that essential writing task.

Once the brain becomes attuned and in tune with the process of ‘story’ it has an automatic flick response, that's what I call it, which reminds us of what we need to be thinking of next and to which the kinaesthetic readily responds. 

In another life I performed as singer and musician and had to learn a variety of repertoires, including, at one time, a new instrument. I went through a process until the flick, kicked in! But you cannot leave the flick, if you do it will not respond with that agility which facilitates coherence and fluency. It becomes part of the routine of life, though needs escaping from sometimes, in order to refresh the practitioner and creator.

The complexities and tribulations that accompany writing, for me, I cannot and would not speak for anyone else, can temporarily over absorb and possess the creator. This state of being accompanies other areas of creativity and it is important to recognise the symptoms of overload. Actors have tools and techniques to cope with tension and stress. Deeply learnt and imprinted methods of relaxation for example as part of their training.

As for removing writing stress, simply walking away or walking out for an hour are good antidotes to an exhausted or too busy mind-set. Brooding and analysing in an over serious way can alter the mood so much that it destroys the ability to select and organise, contributing to a long term writers block.

I believe these responses are all to do with the rigour and discipline serious writers have to contend with and those who do not know, do not understand.     

There is something deeply satisfying when one begins to feel the narrative moves and flows in the way it should. One hopes one’s readers will also feel that as they turn the pages. It can be a relief when the manuscript is set loose to fend for itself after many hours and days of turning, resting and maturing.

Pinot Noir or Chablis? Rioja or Muscat ? Which shall it be?   

Patience and consistency, fine words and fine wine! 

Jenny Dunbar

It would be wrong to say all things are circular, but it is interesting how the narrative can often nuance its starting point as one ties the ends up. Endings, like beginnings, are really vital ingredients and so hard to pitch exactly right. What do I hope my reader will feel here? Does the weight of the last paragraph leave us in mid air, bring us down to earth with a thump, or just miss the point entirely?

 This week as I have contemplated the ending of my story/ novel, I have been surprised as I moved the pieces of the jigsaw around slightly, how the time element suddenly made more chronological sense. Why did that not seem obvious before? How an automatic reflection upon an earlier part of the story seemed to take over and gave me another thread to sew with. I touched the primary characters again and hopefully they will touch my reader.

I know I mess around with time in my stories, I shift and vary, but this is a conscious decision, is worked out and not a random action. Hence a great deal of thought is involved and time spent in searching for what one hopes is a viable and credible end product.

Intense scrutiny into the completed draft is an arduous, but essential part of the creative process and actually releases some new ideas. That, of course, produces more reflection and inevitably more work. When I say, ‘completed draft, ’I do not mean the finished item, but it is getting there, thanks to those ever increasing circles which force me to meet my characters again and think about their raison d’etre.        

Anecdotes. They attach themselves, not quite as many coloured patches, but rather in the way one lengthens a dart, refining a point and hopefully streamlining the effect. If by some lucky chance this enhances the angle, pace and emotion of the words then craft has gone some way to creating a little  art in the narrative. We live in hope!

Thematic or formulaic?  On analysis, which is inevitable as one reads through and reads through again, themes as opposed to formulas crop up in my work. Water themes, mystical themes, themes of juxtaposition and abstracted landscape.They occur out of my imagination and I work with them, or discard them if they do not seem right. Oh! And sometimes a dash of alienation.

I do not plan in great detail, but I analyse and work in great detail.  That is just my way and a definite pattern emerges. When the knitting, patching and darting start to be necessary that pattern is hopefully made clearer and more resonant by its complexity.

The words wake me up late at night and the next part of the tale begins to take shape. I do not have a pen and paper beside me, but let the ideas fester and a version of those ideas will come to mind, if I am lucky, when I begin to write. And of course one thing leads to another, sometimes usefully, sometimes not.

At times the words rush round in those ever increasing circles I mentioned earlier and I am pleased when I wash my hair which seems to purge the demons.

We all have our versions of the ‘how’ we create I wonder what some of yours are?

Well what about the element of fire ? I have pots in the kiln and anticipate opening it tomorrow morning. If all is sound I will smoke fire the porcelain at some point and hope the shapes and patterning enhance the form.

Jenny Dunbar www.lockpublishing.com/dunbar.html

My parents divorced the summer of my third year in school. This did not come as a great disappointment. My father was a womanizer and a heavy drinker. The fights between my parents were frequent. We moved that summer into our “own” house. My mother was a hard worker and with my aunt to help her, our new life began.

In many ways, our life was much better. There were no more fights to fear and our little cottage, although not in a really desirable part of town, was better than the house we shared with our father. My brother and I were happy and accustomed to making the best of things. Our life sailed along with an occasional trauma as life goes with all of us.

The summer of my thirteenth year, out of the blue, my father called. Professing his undying love and remorse that he had not called since I was eight years old, he asked for the pleasure of my company for the approaching Saturday morning. Excitement pulsed through my young body. My father actually loved me. All of those years feeling that their problems were somehow caused by me were erased with that one call. He was probably drinking pretty heavily when he called but I didn’t know or care about that. MY FATHER LOVED ME. I decided right then that every Saturday would be spent with my Dad. We would make up for all of the lost days, weeks, months and years in the coming Saturdays. At school, all that I talked about was my upcoming special time. I cancelled my usual time with Kathy, my best friend. She would have to understand that although she had been my companion for years spending each Saturday morning with me, she had been dropped. Our typical Saturday at the local movie and then a banana split were over. Whatever my father had planned would be so much better.

The time passed slowly. My wardrobe was planned down to the ribbon in my hair. That day finally arrived. My mother tried to curb my over zealous attitude. “He probably won’t come.” She would stress that my father was undependable and basically a liar but I knew better. After all of the hurt that he had caused, he wouldn’t dare disappoint me.

An hour before his arrival, I was dressed in my prettiest dress and waited on the front steps with my mother who continued to warn me that I was about to be hurt. I listened to her patiently at first. Sure, she hated him because he had caused so much hurt but that was her problem. He loved me. I remember waiting in the hot sun as mother continued to try to prepare me for disaster. An hour late, he pulled up to the curb as my mom explained that we could go get ice cream later.

“I knew that he would come. You need to believe in him!” Yelling those comments, I ran to the opened door without a hug or kiss to my faithful mom. Dad closed the door and we were off for a few hours of much needed bonding. Little did it matter that he wanted to see a Western movie. Not my favorite for sure but next week, he would probably insist that I see what I liked. After the movie, he treated me to a banana split as he watched with great pride. We laughed and talked so much. The day was everything that I had ever dreamed.

The next week, I excitedly planned his arrival. Just like all of my friends, I had a father. The kids at school quickly tired of hearing about my special day. What was the big deal anyway? Didn’t everybody have a father?

The next Saturday found me dressed in another pretty dress with a new ribbon because dad liked the ribbon in my hair. Again I waited in the hot sun. Mother didn’t join me since she was amazed that he showed last week. I waited for three hours. He never came; not even a phone call with a lie. When my mother tried to get me to go with her for ice cream, I assured her that I was not disappointed. It had always been crystal clear that he was a liar. Now that I had given him a chance, I would never wait for him or make plans with him again.

Quickly, I changed from special clothes to those of play. Pulling the ribbon from my hair, I frowned at my reflection. How gullible could I possibly be? The rest of the afternoon was spent in my swing where I sorted out life’s problems. He never phoned again but I didn’t care. My Saturday’s were spent again with Kathy and life went on as before. Yet, in my heart, I always hoped that someday he may call again.

Fume Fume - Altered Consciousness. - Change in life cycle. - Chapter Ten

We all will, sooner or later, find ourselves having to make the hardest decisions of our lives. Dani found it hard to make the decisions she had to make, in Chapter Ten, “To Dance with Ugly People,” but her altered consciousness pushed her into the direction of making a change in her life. Dani wanted to forget the past and make a clean start.

My Friend and Fellow Author with Lock Publishing, Jenny Dunbar posted a Recipe and it gave me an idea. I want to offer you the chance to push in the direction of making a change to your menu for, January 1 2016. Join in the tradition of eating lucky foods on the first day of the New Year 2016.

But instead of leaving everything up to fate, why not enjoy a meal to increase your good fortune? There are a variety of foods that are believed to be lucky and to improve the odds that next year will be a great one. Traditions vary from culture to culture, but there are striking similarities in what's on the table. I grew up eating:

Collard Greens
Their green leaves look like folded money, and are thus symbolic of economic fortune.

Pork
The custom of eating pork on New Year's is based on the idea that pigs symbolize progress.

Black-Eyed Peas
Peas are also symbolic of money. Their small, seed like appearance resembles coins that swell when cooked so they are consumed with financial rewards in mind.

Round Pan of Corn Bread
Round is the shape you want for the new year.

Recipes:

Southern-Style Collard Greens

12 hickory-smoked bacon slices, finely chopped
2 medium-size sweet onions, finely chopped
3/4 pound smoked ham, chopped
6 garlic cloves, finely chopped
3 (32-oz.) containers chicken broth
3 (1-lb.) packages fresh collard greens, washed and trimmed
1/3 cup apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon pepper

Preparation
1. Cook bacon in a 10-qt. stockpot over medium heat 10 to 12 minutes or until almost crisp. Add onion, and sauté 8 minutes; add ham and garlic, and sauté 1 minute. Stir in broth and remaining ingredients. Cook 2 hours or to desired degree of tenderness.

Fresh Black-Eyed Peas With Bacon

1 1/2 pounds fresh black-eyed peas, rinsed, drained
8 to 12 ounces bacon, diced
Leftover diced ham and/or a ham bone or ham hocks, if ya got it
2 bay leaves
Additional water or chicken broth or stock, if needed
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
1 cup chopped red and green bell pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
1 1/2 cups water
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

Preparation
In a tall stockpot cook the bacon until done but not crisp; add the onion, bell pepper, to the rendered bacon fat and cook just until tender. Add the garlic and cook another minute or so. If you have some leftover ham, add it here also and cook it until browned. Toss the peas in the pot and sort of stir fry them with the veggies for a bit. Then slowly begin adding the hot water, stirring in as you do, and bring it up to a full boil.

If you're lucky enough to have a ham bone, stick it in there after you add the water but before you add the peas, reduce heat to medium and allow the ham bone to cook by itself for about an hour to deepen the stock. Once that cooks (or if you don't happen to have a ham bone) go ahead and just add the dried peas, salt, pepper, and bay leaves. Then bring it all to a boil.

Reduce to a medium simmer and partially cover, cooking for about 1 to 1-1/2 hours or until peas are tender and creamy. Add additional chicken stock or water only if necessary to slightly thin out.

Moist Southern Cornbread

1 1/2 tablespoons butter
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups cornmeal, sifted before measuring
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs
1 cup buttermilk
2 cups whole milk, divided

Preparation
Preheat oven to 350°.
Put the butter in a 9-inch round cast iron skillet and heat in the oven or on the stovetop until the pan is hot and the butter is melted but not browned.
Meanwhile, sift the flour, cornmeal, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into a mixing bowl. Whisk together the eggs, buttermilk, and and 1 cup of the whole milk. Stir into the dry ingredients until well blended.
Pour the batter into the hot pan. Carefully pour the remaining 1 cup whole milk evenly over the top of the batter; do not stir. Place the skillet in the oven and bake for about 45 to 50 minutes, or until cornbread is set and baked through.

Instead of leaving everything up to fate, Dani made a move, was it the right one? Get your copy and find out today! Enjoy my recipes anytime of the year.

I discovered this little tidbit on a blog for writers who have Word 2010. I'm not a computer Guru, but It actually works! I only wish the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.

"If you have Word 2010 you have, as a writer, a brilliant free tool at your fingertips. How many times have you wished that you could “hear” your own work back so that you can tell immediately whether it sounds right?

It takes a few minutes to install this tool but it is worth every second. Once you have this on your tool bar you simply highlight the paragraph you wish to hear and click on the microphone icon to hear if the words flow."

I’ve gotten asked by a lot of other authors about any sort of hints or tips of tricks that I could tell them to help them along.  If you’ve read my earlier posts, you know that I think that writing is a very personal experience, and therefore the process changes dramatically from person to person.  But, at this point, I have gotten asked enough that I finally decided to culminate all of the tips that I have found most helpful.

The following is a list of the top 10 things I believe a fiction writer should do. Most of these probably apply to all you nonfiction writers out there as well, but I’ll leave the official version of that list for one of you to develop. So, without further ado, here are the most crucial things every writer should do from my perspective:

Know the basics

Every writer must know the basics of grammar, spelling and punctuation. This is not to impress readers with how well we learned in school. If readers are paying more attention to mistakes than to plot, they will not be your readers for long.

Be original

Imitating another author’s style or rehashing an overused plot line is an easy way to lose readers. We have been blessed with only one Socrates, one Mary Shelley, one Stephen King. Many have tried to imitate them. Can you name one? While imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, it is also a certain path to obscurity.

Want to write

Writers write. It’s what they have to do. Writing requires long hours, tedious edits and rewrites and rarely pays enough to give up the day job. Many have tried writing because it seems a quick and easy path to success. After a few attempts, most find the day job is not so bad by comparison.

Accept obscurity

Writing is a lonely job. Writers spend many long hours hidden away, pecking a keyboard. For a short time, most writers will experience some notice, even admiration, from their social circle. However, as time passes and none of their work shows up on the New York Times bestseller list, friends and family smile knowingly when you claim the title of writer.

Find your audience

Not everyone will like what you write. It’s a fact. Few people south of the Mason-Dixon Line liked the Gettysburg Address. It is extremely difficult to persuade someone to like your work who does not like the genre you write. There are countless groups with interests in everything imaginable. A quick Google search is a good start. From there, try to develop connections that will grow your social circle.

Find a support structure

Writing requires far more self-motivation than the average day job. Writers have only themselves and whatever cheering squad they can put together. Most other professionals are surrounded by coworkers who know and understand the perks and stresses of their jobs. Writers have to seek others who share their compulsion and cultivate a support structure where they can find it.

Get feedback

Few writers can see all the inaccuracies or implications of their work with no feedback. As writers, we see our stories from within. Part of us or someone we have known goes into each character. Places we have seen or imagined have gone into each scene description. However, do they work for our target audience? We will never know unless we make ourselves accessible.

Accept criticism

Not all criticism is negative or valid, but all has the potential for being beneficial. Writers are mostly human. As such, we tend to learn from our mistakes. However, this only happens if we know what our mistakes are. None of us sits down to intentionally throw in a dangling plotline or a contradiction in place or time. Once in, the writer often fails to notice them, but few readers are as oblivious of our mistakes.

Have a thick skin

Because they have to remain accessible, writers are easy targets. They are criticized by those who do not agree with the believability of their characters, the probability of their plots or the choice of genre for their tale. They are subjected to abuse for not eagerly accepting every first draft offered for their opinion. They are vilified as greedy for not accepting a fifty-fifty split for every idea as long as they do all the writing, editing and promotion.

And of course, HAVE FUN!

As long as writing is inner driven, it is only attitude that keeps even its most onerous aspects from being fun. We all know the mental high of the first rush of creativity. Most of us dread the hours of rewrites and editing. Yet, if we are honest with ourselves, we do not do it for the readers. We write because it’s what we like to do. All jobs have aspects that are less fun than others, but that does not mean that all aspects are not fun.

Several years ago a good friend of mine told me that I should write down a lot of my adventures because I had lived such an adventurous life. Then a year or so ago, a good friend of mine (and former high school Spanish student who is very gifted in all things computer) after having run my web-site for several years suggested that I write a blog.

 I agreed as I thought it might help the sales of my books, which seem to be coming out about one a year. At first I thought I should write a “how to” blog on screenwriting tips and writing readability in general. This lasted for about the first dozen or so blogs. Slowly but surely my blog went from the art of how to get words onto a page to a series of personal adventures. Instead of writing grammatical rules and script writing techniques, I finally found my niche—life adventures that one can translate to the written page.

 Most people when they think of the word adventure, they think of something exciting and unusual. It may also be a bold, usually risky undertaking with an uncertain outcome. The term also broadly refers to any enterprise that is potentially fraught with physical, financial or psychological risk such as a business venture or other major life undertaking.

 Since I changed over to “adventure writing”, you will obviously have noticed that my stories are all over the map literally—some high adventures and some quite small and home grown. For example: My adventures in growing up in Okolona, Mississippi; my adventures with some of my relatives and people I have known; my adventures in foreign lands and situations, my selling Fitzgerald’s Happiness Tonic.

In my blogs, I show how I have used all of these adventures in my writing. I really don’t have to sit and dream up plot complications. The way I have lived my life is enough to just pluck an adventure from my memory and transfer it to one of my screenplays, novels or stage plays.

I suppose I have been trying to show that if you want to become a writer, you must live first—that means get an undergraduate degree from the University of the World and a Graduate degree from the University of Hard Knocks. I have degrees from both. Actually this is what my friend was suggesting: Write down some of your coursework at both of those universities.

 A couple of years ago I attended a high school reunion in my hometown of Okolona, Mississippi. I reunited with my best friend growing up. We were inseparable for all those teenage years. Then at age 19 we separated; he went to a Christian Bible School to become a preacher and I went off to Mexico, California, the Army, and a wide range of adventures in life. At that reunion, we hadn’t seen one another for 55 years. Even so, we took back up in our chatting like it had only been a weekend ago that we had seen one another. He told me after a bit, “You certainly have lived an adventurous life.” Then the next day from the pulpit after introducing me to his congregation he said, “Jack went to Hollywood and I went to Jesus .” In a way, I suppose he was saying Jesus was his adventure in life and mine was Hollywood and the worldly universe.

 I know that a lot of things I write about sound like high adventure and many of them are—like being caught up in the Cuban Revolution—like being arrested in East Berlin for black market currency dealing—like hitch hiking and getting picked up by some army guys who had stolen a car and were awol, etc. etc.

 Adventure is where one is involved in a bit of danger or where your livelihood is at stake or you are taking a chance of some kind. Those are the most popular adventures we like to hear about. However, we can make life an adventure on a much smaller level. I remember when I was young there was a Hillbilly comedienne named Minnie Pearl out of The Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, TN. She was pretty much the country Joan Rivers of her day. She could make ordinary happenings hilarious. In the process, she became famous and wealthy and beloved.

 So you see, adventure is where you find it. Some people get it in the kitchen. Julia Child made omelets an adventure and caught millions of people up in her world.

So just like my friend when he told me to put some of my adventures down on paper, I’m telling you the same thing. Put some of your adventures down on paper. You’ve had as many as I have but maybe just in your own way. You can keep them to yourself or you can share them—and then if they are interesting enough, they become adventures for others!

 Adventure is where you find it and most importantly, what you make of it.

Cheers, put a little adventure in your life today. As Helen Keller said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

My belief has always been, when the dark and hidden areas of our minds are exposed to light and truth, the darkness has to go.  Light and darkness simply cannot dwell in the same place. 

So, as a Life Coach, I endeavor to ask the right questions that will uncover areas in ourselves that will ultimately answer our questions and set us free from bondage.  Or to help us see the truth within relationships that perplex us, that also sets us free from the actions of others.

Sometimes our communication and conflict management patterns can be out of whack.  

This can be for a variety of reasons based on our background and learned behavior.  Those patterns can change with some insights, skills and relationship help.

And if you want it to change. 

You have to want it to change. 

It is always about a choice, isn’t it?

So, if this post helps you see your own passive-aggressive behaviors, you will understand why others find it difficult to be around you, trust you, and respect you as you would like to be trusted and respected.

You confuse them.  People move away from folks who purposefully confuse them — if they are smart.  It can be such a drain.

Or if it answers your questions or rings a bell in some of your relationship conflicts with the other people in your life who have these traits this will help you realize you are not really crazy–and it is not you!

Just becoming a Christian doesn’t mean that our behavior patterns change overnight.  The minute we become believers of Jesus Christ, our hearts are born anew.  We get brand new hearts, alive unto God.  And we are saved by His grace, not by our own goodness, but by His. 

But our souls, (mind, will, and emotions) have to be renewed on a daily basis by a continued pursued relationship with Jesus.  His spirit helps us to change and it is never ending growth.  We have to learn how to recognize old coping skills from the past and allow the Lord to show us how to move past them and find our security, comfort, and value from Him alone.

So, I am offering you a list of what you can look for in a passive aggressive person, or to even recognize some of the traits in yourself.  If so, I hope you find it home-hitting and immediately revealing and you start the journey to correct it.

If these traits describe you as you usually are, I invite you to sit up and take notice.  You likely do not even realize you are doing these things.  Once you read them and ponder your own behavior, you may finally understand why you are having difficulties having the relationships you most want, at home and at work or in the church.

More good news, the more willing to work on yourself you are, the greater your chances of having the life with others that you crave.  When you realize how you are pushing them away by your crazy-making behaviors, you can change things within yourself. When you are trustworthy within yourself, you will be perceived as trustworthy by others.

Although men and women express their passive-aggressive behaviors somewhat differently, generally, you are behaving in passive-aggressive ways if you are regularly:

1. Unwilling to speak your truth openly, kindly and honestly when asked for your opinion or when asked to do something for someone.

How this shows up in communication is being “assertively unassertive”.  You say “Yes” (assertive) when you really mean “No way” (unassertive).  Then, you let your behavior say “No way” for you.  People become confused and mistrusting of you.

2. Appearing sweet, compliant and agreeable, but are really resentful, angry, petty and envious underneath and your actions are just off enough to the point that those close to you sense it.  It makes those around you annoyed and confused.

People who do not get along with others are interested only in themselves; they will disagree with what everyone else knows is right.  A fool does not care whether he understands a thing or not; all he wants to do is show how smart he is. Pro. 18:1&2 NLT

 3. You fear direct communication because you fear rejection. You then often push away the people you care about because you don’t want to seem in need of support.

All the while, you are afraid of being alone and so you want to control those around you so they won’t leave you.  Very confusing!

4. Complaining that others treat you unfairly frequently.  Rather than taking responsibility for stepping up and speaking your truth, you set yourself up as the (innocent) victim.  You say others are hard on you, unfair, unreasonable and excessively demanding.

5. Procrastinating frequently, especially on things you do for others.  One way of controlling others is to make them wait.  Ouch!!  I know that speaks to so many of us.  You have lots of excuses why you haven’t been able to get things done.  You even blame others for why that is so.  It’s amazingly unreasonable, but you do it even though it destroys relationship, damages careers, loses friendships and jobs.

And, you tell others how justified you are in being angry because, once again, others treated you unfairly.

6. Unwilling to give a straight answer.  Another way of controlling others is to send mixed messages, ones that leave the other person completely unclear about your thoughts, plans or intentions.

Then, you make them feel wrong when you tell them that what they took from your communication was not what you meant.  Silly them!

7. The silent treatment.  Passive aggressive behavior is recognizable by the disconnect between what is being said and what is being done. Nothing highlights this more than the famous silent treatment. Silence generally signifies agreement but not in this case.  When you are on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you realize that the other person is far from agreeable.  They have a big problem with you and just to allow themselves the victory, they have no intention of telling you what that is.

There are 2 other common versions of the silent treatment.  One is to answer the question ‘What’s wrong?’ with ‘nothing’, when there certainly is something wrong.  The other is to answer any question with just one word.  This is intended to signal that there is a problem, without you having to say it.

Both expressions say “You poor confused person. You’re not worth talking to.”  But the real reason for their behavior is that they have not, cannot, or will not take responsibility for their own behavior.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.  Romans 12:1-2 ESV

8. Frequently feeling inadequate but covering it up with superiority, disdain or hostile passivity. 

Whether you set yourself up to be a self-sabotaging failure — “Why do you have such unrealistic expectations of me?” or a tyrant or goddess incapable of anything less than perfection, “To whom do you think you are speaking?”  You are shaking in your boots from fear of competition and being found out as less than perfect.

9. Often late and/or forgetful.  One way of driving people away is to be thoughtless, inconsiderate and infuriating.

And, then, to put the cherry on top, you suggest that it’s unrealistic to expect you to arrive on time, or, in your words, “think of everything”.  Being chronically late is disrespectful of others.  Supposedly forgetting to do what you have agreed to do is simply demonstrating your lack of trustworthiness.  Who wants to be around that for long?

Pro. 16:7   When people’s lives please the LORD, even their enemies are at peace with them.

10. Making up stories, excuses and lies.  You are the master of avoidance of the straight answer.  You’ll go to great lengths to tell a story, withhold information, or even withhold love and affirmation in your primary relationships.  It seems that if you let folks think you like them too much, that would be giving them power.  You’d rather be in control by creating a story that seems plausible, gets them off your back, and makes reality look better from your viewpoint.

11. Constantly protecting yourself so no one will know how afraid you are of being inadequate, imperfect, dependent or simply human.

12. Complaints of injustice and lack of appreciation

13. Dragging your feet to frustrate others.  Again, a control move somewhat like procrastinating, but the difference is you begin and appear as though you are doing what you said you would do.  But, you always have an excuse why you cannot continue or complete the task.  You won’t even say when it will be — or even might be — done.  Do you know anyone like this? 

Everything is viewed as an attack on you.  When something doesn’t go your way, it is seen as unfair or an injustice.  It’s all about how the world impacts you.

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.  Galatians 5:1-20 ESV

14. Disguising criticism with compliments

At first, passive aggressive people may seem pleasant and warm.  They often appear to be complimentary.  It is only after they have left that you realize that the compliment was actually disguising a cheap jibe.

15. Always getting in the last punch.

Passive aggressive people love to throw the last punch.  So much so, that even when an argument has been reconciled, they slip one last insulting remark into the conversation. This remark is often more subtle than the ones which went before but it is still an insulting remark which allows them to feel victorious.

We belong to God.  It is time for us to step into maturity and begin to face truth about the strong holds in our lives that hold us back from producing His fruit in us. 

The answer always lies in Jesus.  Our renewed minds will flow out from Him if we are willing to admit the truth of our actions to ourselves and then to Him.  It is not in our own power but in His.  In our weaknesses He is made strong, but we have to be willing to get out of denial and face our truth.  He will help us with the rest! 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

We want to increase exposure to indie Writers Support, as we have been doing everyday through all of our combined channels that brings in thousands of book readers everyday.

The more (content) we add to the Indie Writers Support network, the more exposure we will receive in return from the SEO and Socia Media system. The algorithm of how this work is kind of hard to explain, but it is a proven fact. Depending on how good your submitted/published article is, the piece of work may end up generating you thousands of visits and new fans, so why not give it a try anyway. The system is already set up for you.

Huffington Post rose to the top literary journal in the U.S because of its online contents, submitted & published by viable writers.

We, at Indie Writers Support, have the same resources; the best-selling writers, free blogging & friend-request capabilities, and we can even chat with one another on our network. So why not expose our self more with the I.W.S network by submitting your your composed Blog, Reviews, Published Book info, Articles, Excerpt, or whatever literary journal that you feel you can share with our readers.

We look forward to reading them., as the topics would be emailed to our member on our next newsletter.

TODAY'S ASSIGNMENT = SHOW US YOUR TALENT. 

To add your own blog to the Indie Writers Support network, go to, http://indiewritersupport.com/profiles/blog/new.

Don't know what to write and how to write them? This blog can help you; 34 Blogging Topics Just for Writers.

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